Day 14

I had a sudden revelation today about the source of my disgruntlement at work in recent months.

There have been many changes in the past 1.5 years as people come and go. Granted that the department is now emptied of the people I deeply love, I still love my job and the dynamic organisation that touches the lives of so many.

I just don't like my job portfolio.

Reason why I have hung on till now is because I think there is a good job fit. My skillsets enable me to value add to the department's work. But there recent changes in portfolio doesn't allow me to contribute using all of my skillsets, and the top-down approach means I don't get to fight for what I love to do, what I am passionate about. In short, I feel unchallenged and that I have lost my voice.

Feeling at the crossroads now, whether I should move into a new area and seek new challenges that fuel me; or whether I should hang in there because I still use my skillsets partially. Plus I don't want to give up when the going gets tough. If I should leave, I want to leave on a high note.

A lesser reason is the change in department culture.

In the past, ex-colleagues and I knew what each other were doing and we discussed issues collaboratively. We did not require prompting to offer a hand when someone needed help. And if we were struggling it wasn't below us to ASK. Today, for some reason people are secretive. Work is comparmentalised, not to mention dished out based on what the boss thinks you're stereotype good at. Things are less than efficient because people are unwilling to ASK what they don't know, and ASK what has been done in the past.

Bitching about this seem to imply an inability to adapt. However, if I really couldn't adapt I would not still be here. I have a clear understanding that I cannot expect things to stay the same forever. But it is the knowing that things could be better than what they are existingly that bites me.
To me it is sad that my greatest personal achievement this year at work has nothing to do with my portfolio. My bosses don't even know about my involvement. My greatest achievement... was being emcee for a Standards seminar. I'm extremely grateful to the person who saw the potential in me and entrusted me with the role since public speaking is by no means something that people will associate me with. I am also thankful for the experience which allowed me to bear witness to how the organising comm came together to deal with the issues that day. I saw how they came together to celebrate the event's closure and was part of it. The congratulations were genuine, there were no personal victories only team victories that day. Which brings me to the point- our department also organises a number of events but why is the sense of joint victory not there anymore?

After all the rationalising, my head is abit clearer now. With the two issues laid out on the table, time to think and strategise my next steps. For too long I've forgotten my motto of "change the world or go home", it is time that I take concrete steps to address the things that are bugging me.

10-15 July- Vacationing

I've have been toying with the idea of a beach vacation for so long. "Phuket? Krabi? Boracay?" I ask almost every week. So when the Phuket deal came out in Groupon, LY and I decided to overcome NATO (talk only, no action) and book the resort and air tickets quickly.

Top 5 Experiences in Phuket

1) Phi Phi Islands Tour

A full day tour, for 1200 baht (48 SGD) per person, included a speedboat ride to the island, lunch, and snorkeling equipment. There was a slight hiccup at the start when one of the motors of our speedboat died and the boatman were making futile attempts to salvage it. Small speedboats have to maintain a certain speed at open sea otherwise they may capsize. For a water-averse person, the breakdown caused quite a bit of anxiety. Fortunately, nothing catastrophic happened. 

We managed to go to 2 snorkeling locations. With a life jacket on, I didn't need to swim much which is such a huge relief cos I absolutely hate treading water. Managed to see some fishes, corals (mostly dead), terrifying-looking sea urchins, even a lion fish.

2) Lobster meal

We drove a hard bargain here. Got the lobster at 900 baht per 900 grams. The meal was completed with calamari and an oyster omelette.

3) Elephant Jungle Trekking

I had been most excited about trying this when we planned the trip. It was a not too bad experience, though shorter than expected. Elephants are such nice benign animals. No wonder the Thais love them. Two of us in seats balanced on the elephants back, plus the guide, we took a walk about 45 minutes along some steep slopes. While it was a novel experience for us, it was obviously boring for the elephant and the guide. Apparently, they have to walk the same route about 7 times a day. But well, at least I had my wish for an elephant ride fulfilled (and I got to pet a monkey as a bonus). 650 baht (26 SGD) per person.

4) Para-sailing

One of the key highlights of the trip. We took turns to be harnessed to a parachute and towed by a boat along the coast for about 3km. The ascent was very fast, the men hold back the parachute to inflate it and they tell you to do something of a short run. However before you even manage a few steps, you are lifted off the ground, and up you, go wind in your hair and the sea beneath you. It was an awesome experience as you fly, not in a capsule, but freely with your legs dangling down. And you look around, the incredible view of the sunset, ocean vessels, and sandy beaches engulfs you. I even saw a stingray from our vantage point in the air! The decent was very thrilling too as you see people trying to dodge the parachute coming in and you try to avoid landing on one of those coconut trees. Lol. I only wish we could have stayed up there a bit longer because the ride was quite short (less than 5 minutes). 900 baht (36 SGD) per person.

5) James Bond Island Tour

We went on a James Bond Island tour, together with about 30 other folks on a cruise boat. The tour agent swore by the good service provided by this company. We were not let down. The tour included lunch and dinner on-board the boat, canoeing to see some caves, taking a long-tailed boat to see some islands. 

My favourite was the first stop on a nice island with a stretch of unspoilt beach. The sand was there so fine and water was so clear, it was so ideal to sit on one of those beach chairs under a colourful umbrella looking at other people water skiing and frolicking in the water. We were also treated to a performance by one of the crew members, who was what they called a 'pretty boy' in Thailand. He danced and rumba-ed with many of the tourists. 100 points for entertainment factor! 1250 baht (50 SGD) per person well spent!