Day 20

We celebrated Ah Gong's birthday today. He was visibly happy.
I wish my grandparents were healthy and happy everyday.
This year has not been easy for them. Hope next year would be better!

Day 19

"You've got to look less worried than you actually are."- These were the wise words from the SAF guy from the Success with Presentation course I've been attending for the past 3 days.


The course is actually quite hands-on. We had to do 2 presentations in the short span of 3 days and were critiqued by the trainer as well as the other fellow participants. The final one was captured on video, which is rather interesting because it's the first time I ever seen and heard the way I look and sound when I present.


When I watched my presentation, I realised that there were a lot of fillers! The "erms" "erm ya"... kept creeping in. :( Gotta work on that, and also not to look so scared esp. when changing slides. The fillers were not present during my first presentation. Looks like I lack consistency.

Day 18

Committed my biggest boo-boo since my 16mths at work today. Just before my appraisal. Argh. Luckily it got "solved". Lesson learnt.

Day 17

We've this craze in the office lately, which is playing poker after lunch. It must be the cold December weather that is retarding our brains. Nobody really feels like working (or maybe I'm just speaking for myself, well...) Anyway, poker's cool. I thought bridge was cool, cos the econs gals and I always play bridge, even the subject of our emails to each other is 'bridge", but poker is cooler. Well probably because I've been beating everyone hands down lol, out of sheer luck. Just today, we went to ntuc to buy 40 bars of lemon sweets as our chips. It was those tiny lemon flavoured sweets wrapped in gold wrapper that most from our generation would remember. And so we played. And I made everyone bankrupt.

(Could it be because this morning I saw a black cat that was run over and had all its insides spilled out? Nah, I didn't see that yesterday but I made them bankrupt too. The black cat thing was totally crazy. When I told my sis that it's so gross that I felt too sick to work, but my sis only said, is it the same cat that has been roaming our house? So poor thing... ... I wonder who lacks compassion, her or me.)

Christmas is around the corner. I can't smell it cos the air is too cold here in this igloo of an office, but I can read about it from the papers. Have you finished your list yet?

Day 16

Did a 180 transformation this morning with some ingenuity and resourcefulness. Happy. :)

It was a mad rush just so I could make it for the Csr program whereby we brought some kids from less priviledged families for an outing. Terribly glad that I got to canoe again after so many years! And i miss the lovely feeling of being under the hot hot sun. Totally energising. :)

Day 15

♥♥♥ Going gaga over macaroons ♥♥♥

Day 14

My mood was at an all-low on Tues. Had to return to work looking so ugly! Fell flat on my face on Monday while rollerblading and scrabbed my nose and lips. I remember the first thing on my mind after I fell was "oh no...i think i broke my nose *&%$". Was super irritated cos it wasn't even my fault that I fell. I was only trying to avoid the person who fell in front of me and also cos the person beside me didn't help. But it was alright, I cld still live with that cos after I got home, everyone was so concerned and encouraging that my mood was lifted. And when I got to the office, everyone was also super nice, showering words of concerns and sharing remedies for wounds to heal faster. wc recommended aloe vera, mn recommended bbq cream (typo cos she was sick and actually meant bb cream), and xc recommended a plaster to make it look like a soccer injury and make me look 'meaner'. But.........

The most heartbreaking thing came just before lunch. I dropped my phone while getting out of a cab and the screen got smashed. My new nokia!!!! only 2 mths old!!! *&$#!%&#)*@!#. Just went to enquire last evening- the warranty doesn't cover screen cracks cos it's considered a "fatal damage" and it costs $45 to repair. How can it be a "fatal damage" when it only fell off from my lap? Felt super sick that day.

Ode was trying to recall a chinese idiom to describe my predicament. We supplied “祸不单行”，“因祸得福”，“塞翁失马，焉知非福”,but in the end she remembered it was “大难不死必有后福”... That sounded ominous and wrong then but after the nokia customer svc lady apolegetically insisted that it was a "fatal" damage, I kinda think Ode's right.

Hmm but whatever, things can only get better since the worst is over. This time i “赔钱又赔色”, but I'll earn it back and heal in no time!

Day 13

Stuck this whole week at Shangri-la for apec. But it's a good job- Non-stop supply of food, some pretty exquisite meals, cab to-and-fro everyday, manageable workload, nice bosses. All in all it's a pretty good week! Initally I thought I had to spend even the weekends here, but my boss gave me a day off on my birthday, which makes it the biggest gift I've received this year! =)

Hence on Sunday when the whole team was slogging here, I was off for piano lessons, jap lessons, then dinner with my family back home. Sweet.

Some pics from the apec meetings...

Birthday pics... the cake Meng baked...my phone cam's lousy but it was a success.

At some korean restaurant with served yucky soba....

Day 12

Submitted my entry for the bag design competition last night. Sure hope I can win, then I can go around carrying a branded bag lol. It was fun picking up the drawing pencil again over the weekend and searching everywhere for inspiration!!!

Day 11

With my new E71 I can now upload a pic of my rollerblades. The samsung cable is still missing but hmm won't be using it any way.

Some other stuff that I also wanted to upload ...

My grandmother's "nian gao"...look how thin it is...

Mum making dumplings. She won't pose for the camera though...

The photo frame that adorns my office table.

My "stress ball" in the office.

And a recent photo of me.^^

Day 10

Went with LY to Jubilee theater to watch Orphan last night. Wanted to watch the 7.00 show but the mtg with mti dragged till 7.30. No choice but to cab down to the place and watch the 9.20 show which was the last show of the day, on the last day they were screening it! Was quite desperate to watch it and good thing it didn't disappoint. =) But it was quite creepy watching it in a cinema with only 8 people in it. Purposely took the aisle seat so that there won't be an empty seat beside me =p

I think because of scene in the delivery ward in the movie and my insane craving for eggs lately that this morning at the bus-stop, I started wondering if a chicken feels the pain when it lays an egg. It'll be quite cruel if the chicken has to go through a lot of pain for the consumers' sake right? Fortunately, I think it's not that painful.

According to DOM_BIRD (http://www.afn.org/~poultry/egghen.htm): "The bird stands high above the egg and rests, beak open and panting after the heavy work. The entire process (from rising to dropping the egg) is quite fast and is finished within half a minute." Thank goodness.

Had a quarrel with dad over the double yolk eggs that mum buys in a carton. He says he doesn't eat them cos he thinks those eggs are GM and god knows what side effects they'll bring. That's so crazy, I love double yolk eggs! Told him that the producers probably did an x-ray or sth to see if there were 2 yolks but he didn't believe me. But look what I've googled again:

"In egg processing factories (or farms!) they put eggs over a light box to check for defects, and you can see the yolk and if there are two yolks you can tell. They do this to check that if chicks are growing inside fertilised eggs too. Like yolk-less eggs (yes, they do happen in nature) they are usually laid by very young chickens who have just started producing." y('_')y =D=D

Day 9

Haha I'm super duper free this morning, cos my boss is .... no where to be found. Just wanted to drop a note to commemorate my 1 year in public svc!

So fast time flies.

I won't lie about how I don't feel jaded upon passing the 1 year mark, about how I don't feel like retiring already, how when I'm assigned some new piece of work I don't feel like I've been passed a disease. All these are true, but I think work is inevitable and you just have to do what you have to do everyday, and do it brilliantly.

My intern Eli pointed out in her internship report that I just vetted that there is a "vast difference" between work assignments and school projects. She learnt the importance of interpersonal communication and having the appropriate mindset at the workplace. For instance, it was very essential to be positive about all big and small tasks, to show tolerance of and learn how to work around different working styles and to embrace responsibility and the opportunity to make decisions. She concluded that the attachment has been extremely rewarding to her.

I feel lucky that I got to read her positive reflections on my 1 year mark. There indeed is a difference between undergrads and the working class. This sort of optimism that you find in students don't come to me that freely anymore =p Kudos to her for helping me realise how much learning I've accumulated over the year, how I've quite successfully adapted to a different environment, and feel good once again about my first anniverssary!

Day 8

Everyone has been asking me if I've any trips planned for the hols, and the answer is no, not with the H1N1 flu going around. But I still need breaks....I took pm leave on monday and spent the afternoon at Tanjong beach. Initially everyone was laughing at me for taking half-day instead of 1 day, and I finally saw their point while I was rushing to HBF, rushing to grab lunch and then rushing to Sentosa. Before I got to sentosa, all my muscles were bunched up. But it was a fun afternoon. It feels especially liberating when you're at the beach on a monday, enjoying the sun, sand and sea, instead of sitting at a desk in a tiny cubicle whittling your eyesight away, and it is a choice YOU made.

Last week I was working my a** off in the office, putting in extra hours. This week everything is on standstill because either my bosses are away or they just don't hv time for me. Sounds like a spoilt kid right? But it is really horrible when your boss ignores you deliberately or unintentionally. There's this huge bottleneck and it's getting on my nerves because of the fact that the bottleneck is actually at the bosses' level, and at my pathetic level, you can't tell them to shove it. There really is no unemployment in this downturn except structural unemployment.

Things I've learnt this week:
1) If you're gg to take leave, take full day.
2) If you're gg to Sentosa looking for a getaway, avoid school holidays which gives children more reason to scream their heads off and chitter-chatter away like there's no tmr.
3) Instant noodles can taste much better than normal food.
4) I've learnt how to blade!!
5) How much I love my friends.

Day 7

Went to collect my biometric passport today. Did you know that the new passport no. is different from your NRIC? Pa said that it's so that if the passport is lost, you can write off the passport no. but not the NRIC. Cool, makes sense. It's also cool that the new biometric book looks just like the old book except that it has an embedded chip inside it, which of course you can't see. Third amazing thing abt passports is how the photos never fail to capture the most unglamous side of you. I thought I was finally done with ugly looking passport photos- the last one stucked for *omg* 10 years, but no... For the next 5 years, I'll be the freaky-girl-with-half-eyebrows. But whatever, at least it looks better than its predeccesor. I thank the msian customs guy who gave me the excuse to be rid of the old photo, cos he wrote in my passport "renew photo, final" using no less than a black ink pen.

Have managed to learn how to control the direction after blading down a slope today. This is after a few falls of course, but it's really an achievement. I've been trying to pick up new skills recently, one by investing in a pair of rollerblades and two in signing up for Elementary Japanese course. The hefty price for this is that my weekends are burnt out and I get an earful every week for treating home as a hotel, but I will take it in my stride.

I meant to upload a pic of my new blades, but I can't find the cable for my phone:(

Day 6

There's nothing like a good weekend, especially one where all the time is delicated to yourself. I felt totally recharged after last week's long break. Plus this week's May Day holiday, I hope I'll be able to have more breakthroughs next week.

Nothing much happened this week, except that I finally submitted my application for the Ucard. Spent so long trying to get a passport size photo for it. Not that I didn't have any, but to find one that was "passable" was like asking for the moon. Anyway, I was asking the lady about subsequent renewal fees when she said, "Just renew la, why not? Just let lim swee say protect you" .....Dots.... I did a double take. LSS? I don't need (want) his protection. Union protection brings to mind those days where men & women raised their fists and shouted slogans like 'fight for workers' rights', days where tv was still black & white, ....days before I was even born. But wait a minute, what did I just signed up for? Ucard lar, what was I expecting? But seriously, i didn't know that there were still people out there having the sort of mindset that there was this "dai gor" that was covering their backs.

The pre-baby-boomers generation at the workplace really stun me sometimes. There is this other bizzare incident where I was talking to this guy when he said "我的内人..." "内人?".....More dots.... I can't believe people still refer to their wives like that! And he used it not just once but all the time. Still can't help cringing every time he says that.

Day 5

Why is it that I try to show consideration towards everyone but no one is willing to spare a thought for me?

Why is it that I do my best but it doesn't register in the minds of the people who matter most to me?

I'm not that strong.

Day 4

This morning I was pouring out my grievances at the office to Pa and Leng on the drive to work and I found out that voicing out your thoughts helps you figure things out faster and better. Most of the time, I don't talk about my problems, and that is to my disadvantage.

I was exclaiming how frustrating it was when things "ding-dong" at work when all there was to do was for my boss to make the judgement call. I was missing the big picture all along. As Dad rightly put it, "Different level management have different considerations". I'm still such a novice, unable to spot things that are out of place, unable to present my thoughts coherently, and not thorough enough in my work. I overlooked things in the website updating, I did not follow up on loose ends dilligently. Basically I took things too lightly. Take for example a set of slides we were preparing for CE. I thought that by making the changes that he wanted, following exactly what I was told to do, the work was finished and I chucked the drafts away. But then a senior came over and wanted the drafts with CE's comments from me just to understand management's line of thought.

I'm just too operational. I don't know if it's a civil service culture to have your backs covered, anticipate questions and prempt things, but if everyone's doing it, I should learn it too right? Going back to the "ding-donging" I realised that my boss was simply trying to make sure we make the prettiest decision just in case Chmn asks why things were that way. Moving forward, I will need to put in more effort to find out the rationale behind every proposal and decision made.

Day 3

Looks like this year my blog posts would be fewer than last year. I'm struggling this morning being fired up mentally but tired physically. Attended a netball practice last evening after work and it was terrific. Being newcomers, PW and I were really stunned by our "coach". It was really great cos neither of us expected the level of seriousness the ladies took to the game. I was never into team sport so I never officially had a coach, but this lady was great. Judging by the way she gives commands and corrects our mistakes, she must have been a real coach once. PW instinctively answered "Yes Ma'am" every time she gave advice and I was half imagining myself to be in a girls home having netball practice. It was cool. I felt like I was having PE lessons in school once again, sweated it out, and then hopped onto the bus to become a stinking public nuisance.

Day 2

It just takes 1 lesson of yoga to turn me into a cynic. I was restless throughout the class, wishing that I had signed up for aerobics or sth more vigourous. I also couldn't avoid looking into that full-wall mirror in front of us that just magnified what I was feeling inside--- ungraceful and inadequate. The teacher led us through an hour of stretching and deep breathing exercies. The motions were simple enough, but I had to keep peeking at the person next to me to see if my poses were correct. Something about the class comprising all female students and a male instructor also rubs me the wrong way. Most of all, that airy-fairy "imagine yourself on a beach" nonsense does not work for me. However, all the ladies on my level are believers and they have signed up for a second time. Why? Since when have I developed such an uncanny tendency to detract value from things? This deserves some reflection. Either that or I need to reflect on why I've succumbed to peer pressure and signed up for 8 lessons.

Dad made a funny judgement that day. He said that the reason why I didn't hold the chopsticks the right way was because I didn't practice livelong learning. If I'm a livelong learner, I'll correct the way I hold chopsticks. Omg! Being a smart-aleck I rebuked that if so he shld use the blade shaver instead of the battery-operated one. But in retrospection, maybe there's some truth in it. Some day.....some day.... I shall try to master the art of holding chopsticks the right way.

The start of this year was pretty only briefly. For the past 2 weeks I've been sloughing like an Ox, even before cny. I did a lot of work, but still cld not do everything. My RO had to step in to finish what he assigned to me. This is kind of demoralizing because I think I did a lot of background work that went unnoticed. He didn't consult me but started everything afresh. Now I'm in regret that I cut down the no. of trips I make to his office. My 6mth appraisal is still pending, this is kind of scary...

It has been a depressing week, LY's away, OT every other day, missed my jog, lousy weather...

Day 1

New stuff i've tried in 2008-- ice skating, singapore flyer...Countdown to 2009-- beautiful night with simply awesome fireworks and we got the best spot
Best meal of the year-- crab porridge