Day 7

Went to collect my biometric passport today. Did you know that the new passport no. is different from your NRIC? Pa said that it's so that if the passport is lost, you can write off the passport no. but not the NRIC. Cool, makes sense. It's also cool that the new biometric book looks just like the old book except that it has an embedded chip inside it, which of course you can't see. Third amazing thing abt passports is how the photos never fail to capture the most unglamous side of you. I thought I was finally done with ugly looking passport photos- the last one stucked for *omg* 10 years, but no... For the next 5 years, I'll be the freaky-girl-with-half-eyebrows. But whatever, at least it looks better than its predeccesor. I thank the msian customs guy who gave me the excuse to be rid of the old photo, cos he wrote in my passport "renew photo, final" using no less than a black ink pen.

Have managed to learn how to control the direction after blading down a slope today. This is after a few falls of course, but it's really an achievement. I've been trying to pick up new skills recently, one by investing in a pair of rollerblades and two in signing up for Elementary Japanese course. The hefty price for this is that my weekends are burnt out and I get an earful every week for treating home as a hotel, but I will take it in my stride.

I meant to upload a pic of my new blades, but I can't find the cable for my phone:(

Day 6

There's nothing like a good weekend, especially one where all the time is delicated to yourself. I felt totally recharged after last week's long break. Plus this week's May Day holiday, I hope I'll be able to have more breakthroughs next week.

Nothing much happened this week, except that I finally submitted my application for the Ucard. Spent so long trying to get a passport size photo for it. Not that I didn't have any, but to find one that was "passable" was like asking for the moon. Anyway, I was asking the lady about subsequent renewal fees when she said, "Just renew la, why not? Just let lim swee say protect you" .....Dots.... I did a double take. LSS? I don't need (want) his protection. Union protection brings to mind those days where men & women raised their fists and shouted slogans like 'fight for workers' rights', days where tv was still black & white, ....days before I was even born. But wait a minute, what did I just signed up for? Ucard lar, what was I expecting? But seriously, i didn't know that there were still people out there having the sort of mindset that there was this "dai gor" that was covering their backs.

The pre-baby-boomers generation at the workplace really stun me sometimes. There is this other bizzare incident where I was talking to this guy when he said "我的内人..." "内人?".....More dots.... I can't believe people still refer to their wives like that! And he used it not just once but all the time. Still can't help cringing every time he says that.

Day 5

Why is it that I try to show consideration towards everyone but no one is willing to spare a thought for me?

Why is it that I do my best but it doesn't register in the minds of the people who matter most to me?

I'm not that strong.

Day 4

This morning I was pouring out my grievances at the office to Pa and Leng on the drive to work and I found out that voicing out your thoughts helps you figure things out faster and better. Most of the time, I don't talk about my problems, and that is to my disadvantage.

I was exclaiming how frustrating it was when things "ding-dong" at work when all there was to do was for my boss to make the judgement call. I was missing the big picture all along. As Dad rightly put it, "Different level management have different considerations". I'm still such a novice, unable to spot things that are out of place, unable to present my thoughts coherently, and not thorough enough in my work. I overlooked things in the website updating, I did not follow up on loose ends dilligently. Basically I took things too lightly. Take for example a set of slides we were preparing for CE. I thought that by making the changes that he wanted, following exactly what I was told to do, the work was finished and I chucked the drafts away. But then a senior came over and wanted the drafts with CE's comments from me just to understand management's line of thought.

I'm just too operational. I don't know if it's a civil service culture to have your backs covered, anticipate questions and prempt things, but if everyone's doing it, I should learn it too right? Going back to the "ding-donging" I realised that my boss was simply trying to make sure we make the prettiest decision just in case Chmn asks why things were that way. Moving forward, I will need to put in more effort to find out the rationale behind every proposal and decision made.

Day 3

Looks like this year my blog posts would be fewer than last year. I'm struggling this morning being fired up mentally but tired physically. Attended a netball practice last evening after work and it was terrific. Being newcomers, PW and I were really stunned by our "coach". It was really great cos neither of us expected the level of seriousness the ladies took to the game. I was never into team sport so I never officially had a coach, but this lady was great. Judging by the way she gives commands and corrects our mistakes, she must have been a real coach once. PW instinctively answered "Yes Ma'am" every time she gave advice and I was half imagining myself to be in a girls home having netball practice. It was cool. I felt like I was having PE lessons in school once again, sweated it out, and then hopped onto the bus to become a stinking public nuisance.

Day 2

It just takes 1 lesson of yoga to turn me into a cynic. I was restless throughout the class, wishing that I had signed up for aerobics or sth more vigourous. I also couldn't avoid looking into that full-wall mirror in front of us that just magnified what I was feeling inside--- ungraceful and inadequate. The teacher led us through an hour of stretching and deep breathing exercies. The motions were simple enough, but I had to keep peeking at the person next to me to see if my poses were correct. Something about the class comprising all female students and a male instructor also rubs me the wrong way. Most of all, that airy-fairy "imagine yourself on a beach" nonsense does not work for me. However, all the ladies on my level are believers and they have signed up for a second time. Why? Since when have I developed such an uncanny tendency to detract value from things? This deserves some reflection. Either that or I need to reflect on why I've succumbed to peer pressure and signed up for 8 lessons.

Dad made a funny judgement that day. He said that the reason why I didn't hold the chopsticks the right way was because I didn't practice livelong learning. If I'm a livelong learner, I'll correct the way I hold chopsticks. Omg! Being a smart-aleck I rebuked that if so he shld use the blade shaver instead of the battery-operated one. But in retrospection, maybe there's some truth in it. Some day.....some day.... I shall try to master the art of holding chopsticks the right way.

The start of this year was pretty only briefly. For the past 2 weeks I've been sloughing like an Ox, even before cny. I did a lot of work, but still cld not do everything. My RO had to step in to finish what he assigned to me. This is kind of demoralizing because I think I did a lot of background work that went unnoticed. He didn't consult me but started everything afresh. Now I'm in regret that I cut down the no. of trips I make to his office. My 6mth appraisal is still pending, this is kind of scary...

It has been a depressing week, LY's away, OT every other day, missed my jog, lousy weather...

Day 1

New stuff i've tried in 2008-- ice skating, singapore flyer...Countdown to 2009-- beautiful night with simply awesome fireworks and we got the best spot
Best meal of the year-- crab porridge

Day 37

If someone told you:

'There's a rule in this state that says you can take a right on red, if you stop first at the red light.'

'What if a judge told you that you can't turn right on red- that you must stay stopped until the lights goes green again, even if there's a sign in front of you that specifically says RIGHT TURN ON RED. What would you do?'

I just finished reading Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult. The lines are from a scene where the lawyers were screening jurors. The setup and question was a way to weed out the people who can't see past convention. If you chose not to turn right, you understand that rules aren't always what you think they are. If you turn right, welcome to the club.

Day 36

"Stomach flu" is a misnomer -- influenza, or flu, is an infection of the respiratory system and has nothing to do with the discomfort in your gut that occurs when one of the previously mentioned viruses produce inflammation in your stomach and intestines. The results are usually nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, fever, and abdominal cramps. You also might get a headache, chills, muscle aches, and fatigue.

Stomach flu viruses are transmitted through direct contact as well as indirect contact (touching something that's carrying the germs of an infected person, such as a countertop, a toy, or a toilet, and then touching your mouth). Noroviruses can also be spread through food (commonly shellfish, vegetables, and salad greens) and through contaminated water.

I've got stomach flu for 1 week and passed it on to Leng who's having her exams. I've got it twice already in 4 months. *Sigh* My condition was more severe than Leng, but it was good to have her company. Lol. Cos she'll copy whatever remedy I try. We ate po chai pills, charcoal pills, even applied the medicated oil that I hate so much. (reason 1: it has a smell that reminds me of old women, reason 2: putting it is like announcing to the whole wide world that you have diahrrea.) The only thing we didn't do the same was that she drank salt wated. Yeewww....

Anyway I just wanted to bring up some home care tips. We had this disagreement with our Dad whether we should drink Vitagen. He said that it was a milk products and milk products are a "no-no" when you've got diarrhea. However, the Vitagen ads have sold us on the idea that it contains good bacteria that can fight harmful bacterial like e.coli blah blah blah...

This is what howstuffworks.com said:

"Active cultures of beneficial bacteria (probiotics) make diarrhea less severe and shorten its duration. Probiotics can be found in yogurt with active or live cultures and in supplements."

So......we won! Even though the label says "Cultured Milk Drink", it's safe to drink. Yay! ^_^y

Other tips i didn't know:

1) You shld not take caffeinated beverages.
2) Eat stuff like rice, dry toast, and bananas. I don't know abt rice and toast, but I think bananas help because they replenish the sodium lost.

I also went to the ENT specialist and dentist this week.

Outcome:
1) I found out that the clinical dignosis for having a problematic tap-like nose is Rhinitis. I've to be on nasal spray for 2 months. I think it could have been avoided if I had faithfully stuck to it a few years back. At that time I didn't perserve because I didn't like spraying things into my nose. But I found out on Monday what could be worse......having the doctor put a scope down your nostrils. I really need to get my nose cured so that I don't have to go for so many examinations whereby they put foreign objects into your nose. $64 for something so mentally and physically discomforting.

2) I came out of the dentist feeling so smug that I wondered whether it showed on my face and if my brother would punch me because....well I looked so smug. Haha. The dentist said my teeth was well-maintained, no need for fillings whatsoever. I was feeling smug because it was my first dental checkup in like some 6, 7 years and he said it was well-maintained. But it was a real neighbourhoody kind of neighbourhood clinic, I did feel like getting a second opinion when I came out of the clinic, but it was easier and cheaper to let smugness take over.

Day 35

For quite some years I've been hating the Nov-Jan period. It rains all day, making the days seem long and melancholic. I used to like the rainy season when I was in kindergarden and primary school. Was very perplexed when they taught us to sing "rain rain go away". But now I find the wet weather intolerable. One because the weather changes have become more extreme due to global warming that it drizzles are few and downpours aplenty. Two because I now suffer from the "cold feet syndrome" literally and I really can't stand the cold.

There were not enough warm bodies on the 19th floor today and I was freezing. Was holed up in my cubicle doing research on SMEs. This is what I found:


Got a presentation again this week. This time I don't feel good about it because I've got 70 slides but only enough time for 15. And how I suck at summarizing. Have a few days more to get my act together.

心理測驗

心理測驗題目：什麼原因會讓你想哭?

排一下自己最易哭的原因! (1是最容易 , 5是最不容易)

a.感動 b.傷心 c.痛( 是肉體, 不是心靈) d.生氣 e.擔心/緊張


My results∼

感動：不是跟你很熟的人覺得你是......
一個傻傻的人。怪怪的。想做什麼就做什麼。不過很可愛。

傷心：跟你很熟的人覺得你是......
對很多事都要求很高的人。不過有很多時候都太固執。

痛：你想要別人覺得你是......
不是那麼容易接近的人。

生氣：你最希望你的情人是......
智慧很重要。可以管得到你的人。而且要講道理。

擔心 /緊張：其實真實的你是......
直接的人。很多時候因為這樣的性格跟別人不合。希望有多一點人可以了解你, 特別是你喜歡的人。

Day 34

Was overwhelmed by a sense of achievement at work on Friday. We were supposed to submit our slides for today's meeting but a new finding came up in the morning which tripped our entire analysis. But it is in times like that where we are forced to work under pressure that we produce the best results. Managed to work around the problem and came up with a convincing flow of argument. I like these kinds of scenarios, they remind me of school whereby we rushed to meet project deadlines=]

I came up with a follow-up for the THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO ON THE JOB:

CORPORATE JARGON YOU WILL ENCOUNTER IN THE CIVIL SERVICE:
* gain traction * bandwidth * my sense is * organic * bounce off * touch base * higher-ups * table papers * give heads-up * get buy-in * discuss offline * tranche * escalate to * levers * exigencies *...(and all sorts of acronyms).

Day 33

Saturday was nvac appreciation dinner. The dinner was passable, I barely remember what we ate. Only remember there were a lot of candies being passed around and I stopped to check if the Dove chocolates were made in China. I've some Dove chocs sitting on my office table for weeks and I cldn't decide whether to risk getting melamine poisoning or throw the chocs away. For the record, the box said they were not made in China. I decided this fact cld be extended to those Dove chocs in the office too so they didn't land up in the bin. I'm just not for wasting food.

Was in anticipation for lunch with Jon and LY at XinWang Hong Kong Cafe (Anchorpoint) that day since Jon promised a bdae treat. And besides we haven't met each other for quite some time. My pockets were supposed to be safe since it was a treat, yet, I was cajoled by the Chinese waitress to sign up for membership in exchange for a bottle of red wine and Tiger beer. With such an attractive carrot dangling, I had no choice but to bite.

Part of the deal was to spend more $40 (more than we intended), so I splurged on a caramel fresh toast. Caramel!!! I was on a high all through the aftn MWH session. Thought I shld mentioned this: after the session Jon reflected that actually the 中国妹 was rather cute. *Hai* Some ppl 死性难改....tsk, tsk, tsk.....hahaha

Jam further made my day when she presented her homemade muffins as a birthday gift. It came complete with box, bow and card! It's like omg....no one has ever baked for me! Appreciated the effort put in =]

The best takeaway from the Apprecation dinner was the exhilaration in doing starjumps and to play "Chase" on the wonderfully green lawn in Hort Park. Some ppl actually forgot how to play "Chase", can you imagine?!

We didn't forget to have fun on our bus ride back either. Jon, LY and I struggled to open the Tiger beer bottle. We tried means and ways to open it without a bottle opener. Eventually 巾帼不然须眉, I managed to open it with a pair of scissors and the three of us shared the warm beer. There was very little to go around. Come to think of it, 330ml /3, each of us actually drank only 110ml. Wonder why we were so thrilled....*L*

Day 32

Close to 3 months on the job and I've done some of the THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO ON THE JOB:

1. Spell your boss' name wrongly and have him point it out to you
2. Spam all the higher management's email such that their mail quota is exceeded and their PAs start calling
3. Provide the wrong tel no. and have all agencies trying to get you call a no. that's not in use
   
4. Tell your boss he is too much of a purist and his approach is impractical
5. Snub your director when she says Good Morning to you because you're still in a morning daze
6. When you boss tells you he thinks the figures you generate are wrong, tell him that you're absolutely sure it's 100% correct such that he gives up asking you and decides to regenerate it himself
7. Put on the line your credibility with the ministry higher up half the time
   
8. Apply for so many positions in the ministry higher up that when you go for meetings for with your bosses, they are so amused because there is no need for introductions since everyone knows you

I think there were more faux pas but I can't remember them now. Fortunately my boss is a very good-natured man and is just mildly amused by all the above.

Day 31

I don't think the results of the personality tests are accurate. Did them out of sheer boredom and depression. But the results for the third test is stunning. I wonder how many people out there are "too complicated".

I went for personality tests for my present job as well. On the 2nd interview, the CE informed me that I'm the only one in the whole organisation that has confused the computer. Apparently the computer could not generate a personal profile for me. They told me they could not understand why but since the personality test was only to supplement the recruitment process, I got hired anyway.

The funny thing is dumb people like me happily and diligently put in 85% of thought into choosing which blanks on the OAS to shade. And when the results come out....."plunk".....They don't even tell you "sorry to disappoint". They tell you "you're too complicated". This is unacceptable.

Personality tests

Get to know yourself better: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

The Real You: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test81.aspx

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
4. Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

Who is your dream guy: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test64.aspx

Here is the analysis:

According to your answers; if you are not kidding, you are too complicated. Sorry, we are unable to offer the analysis. Press Back button on you browser, check ONE question that you were not completely sure and try again with a different answer that you think it would be correct.

Shoot, not again.................

Day 30

10 mins ago, I met the most remarkable gentleman in my office bldg. This man greeted everybody he met, even those who didn't knew him (incl me). He also *gasped* stood outside the lift door holding it open for the ladies to go in first before entering himself. This man works on the 18th floor, everyone from the receptionist to the cleaning lady knows him. They called him "老板/boss". He looks like a very happy man. If I had a boss like that I think I'll be extremely lucky. The nx time I see him I must remember to introduce myself!

hmm....think this sounds like a post written by some primary sch kid....

Day 29

I've quite given up on following the news on the political turmoil and successions etc. Just these couple of years there've been so many changes in government all over the world. I ever tried creating a list of the more notable world leaders but then very soon my list became obsolete. So there, I've given up. Just give me what happened in the end....what happens in between I don't want to know. I know Mum's with me on this cos I saw her scan through the newspp headlines only in the morning. My heart goes out to those journalists who hv to write lengthy news reports, really hope there are ppl out there who follow what they write even though we don't. Haha. Lazy ppl like us rely more on the radio or tvmobile for news updates.

There was talk over lunch that our small red dot shld be very worried that all our neighbours are experiencing problems. Why aren't we worried? Perhaps we are that's why we hv our massive displays by the NAF every at NDP. But can you believe we're celebrating our paralymic gold when the whole sea is all the rage abt Anwar and Somchai Wongsawat.

A: What if our neighbours develop the green-eye syndrome? Does Singapore have enough ammunition to stand up to them?

B: That's why we stock up.

C: Don't worry, the Indonesians can have their parangs, the Msians can have their black magic, Thais can have their vodoos, Singaporeans only need their passports.

To me it's not so much an issue whether we'll leave when war comes. To me, war is a remote possibility. Our vulnerability is "understandably" overhyped by the govt.

Just yest I was at a mtg and someone pointed out that one idea that was floating about came about because of one minister's speech. This idea it turns out has been floating around for sometime. I was wondering isn't "floating"= "driftwood"? Everyone's practicing taichi here? Did not dare breathe to anyone that I had treated that particular speech/presentation with reverence, memorised most of the stuff and used the arguements as key points in my answers for the job interviews and tests. Uh-oh....

Day 28

Our neighbour is our window into the rich men's world. Their home cooked food is our restaurant fare, their parties our Food Fest. I finally undestand why one of my girlfriends can go around declaring she's a taitai wannabe. She's one with foresight. Can you be faulted for wanting to live a life like that? Or put another way, can your be faulted for not wanting to live a life of complaining about rising food prices, haggling over the price of fish, eating leftovers three meals a day, walking a few km to buy that one item on sale at Shop&Save because it's a few cents more expensive at ntuc?

I thought of how commonly people will bring up the plight of the African kids and go into diatribe about food wasting, lavish living etc. Sour grapes argument aside, I feel that it's natural for human beings to want better for themselves. If you are rich and successful, why would you want to scrimp and be hard on yourself. Remember the story of Scrooge?

Recently I started working and I realised that it's actually essential and beneficial to reward oneself. You need not eat lavishly for all three meals a day, but neither need you eat poorly for all three meals. Out of three meals, one hearty meal will give you enough oomph for the day. It's a little like the Joy Luck Club where the ladies celebrate with their "luxurious" food items during the war. I want to feel that I'm lucky too. S. Levitt rightly identified in Freakonomics that everyone is driven by incentives and perks. I'm not wasting food, I'm just incentivising myself so that I can go further.

You can be symphathatic towards the Third World plight too if you're rich. In fact, you can be more symphathatic because you're in a better person to help them. See those rich taitai clubs? You can still live a relatively good life after approportioning a part of your wealth to help others. Of course you can always do more, if you give up that buffet at Meritus Mandarin you can feed 100 more kids, but I don't have the aptitude or inclination to become a missionary. From the bottom of my heart, I want to better the lives of a few others, but I'm not looking to be Father/Mother of Africa. There's just so much that you can do.

Besides reinstilling in me the motivation to work hard, my neighbours' galavanting ways have also put me back in perspective about my cooking skills. I always thought being able to cook homemade dishes put me a teeny-weeny notch higher than my peers who cannot. But when I saw my neighbours homemade dishes, my first instinct was to take out my camera and snap away. Only then did I realise how "country" I was =/

To my neighbours for their 'enlightening' meal.~

Day 27

If Midas could turn any object to gold, you can turn any happiness to sorrow. Quit playing. Unless you've tons of money to burn, you'll burn your fingers. And burning your fingers is the least of it cos everyday your family lives as if they're burning in hell. As if ruining your own life is not enough, you've to ruin everyone else's life. You can have nice cosy bbqs in the porch but nothing can mask the fact that the family is nothing more than dsyfunctional. We live day by day believing that it takes more than that to bring us down. Is it?

Anyone in your position would have woken up and tried to mend things. If you're bad at something, do something else and stop making what you're bad at so glaring, even if it takes pretending so be it. Stop hovering!