Day 14

My mood was at an all-low on Tues. Had to return to work looking so ugly! Fell flat on my face on Monday while rollerblading and scrabbed my nose and lips. I remember the first thing on my mind after I fell was "oh no...i think i broke my nose *&%$". Was super irritated cos it wasn't even my fault that I fell. I was only trying to avoid the person who fell in front of me and also cos the person beside me didn't help. But it was alright, I cld still live with that cos after I got home, everyone was so concerned and encouraging that my mood was lifted. And when I got to the office, everyone was also super nice, showering words of concerns and sharing remedies for wounds to heal faster. wc recommended aloe vera, mn recommended bbq cream (typo cos she was sick and actually meant bb cream), and xc recommended a plaster to make it look like a soccer injury and make me look 'meaner'. But.........

The most heartbreaking thing came just before lunch. I dropped my phone while getting out of a cab and the screen got smashed. My new nokia!!!! only 2 mths old!!! *&$#!%&#)*@!#. Just went to enquire last evening- the warranty doesn't cover screen cracks cos it's considered a "fatal damage" and it costs $45 to repair. How can it be a "fatal damage" when it only fell off from my lap? Felt super sick that day.

Ode was trying to recall a chinese idiom to describe my predicament. We supplied “祸不单行”，“因祸得福”，“塞翁失马，焉知非福”,but in the end she remembered it was “大难不死必有后福”... That sounded ominous and wrong then but after the nokia customer svc lady apolegetically insisted that it was a "fatal" damage, I kinda think Ode's right.

Hmm but whatever, things can only get better since the worst is over. This time i “赔钱又赔色”, but I'll earn it back and heal in no time!

Day 13

Stuck this whole week at Shangri-la for apec. But it's a good job- Non-stop supply of food, some pretty exquisite meals, cab to-and-fro everyday, manageable workload, nice bosses. All in all it's a pretty good week! Initally I thought I had to spend even the weekends here, but my boss gave me a day off on my birthday, which makes it the biggest gift I've received this year! =)

Hence on Sunday when the whole team was slogging here, I was off for piano lessons, jap lessons, then dinner with my family back home. Sweet.

Some pics from the apec meetings...

Birthday pics... the cake Meng baked...my phone cam's lousy but it was a success.

At some korean restaurant with served yucky soba....

Day 12

Submitted my entry for the bag design competition last night. Sure hope I can win, then I can go around carrying a branded bag lol. It was fun picking up the drawing pencil again over the weekend and searching everywhere for inspiration!!!

Day 11

With my new E71 I can now upload a pic of my rollerblades. The samsung cable is still missing but hmm won't be using it any way.

Some other stuff that I also wanted to upload ...

My grandmother's "nian gao"...look how thin it is...

Mum making dumplings. She won't pose for the camera though...

The photo frame that adorns my office table.

My "stress ball" in the office.

And a recent photo of me.^^

Day 10

Went with LY to Jubilee theater to watch Orphan last night. Wanted to watch the 7.00 show but the mtg with mti dragged till 7.30. No choice but to cab down to the place and watch the 9.20 show which was the last show of the day, on the last day they were screening it! Was quite desperate to watch it and good thing it didn't disappoint. =) But it was quite creepy watching it in a cinema with only 8 people in it. Purposely took the aisle seat so that there won't be an empty seat beside me =p

I think because of scene in the delivery ward in the movie and my insane craving for eggs lately that this morning at the bus-stop, I started wondering if a chicken feels the pain when it lays an egg. It'll be quite cruel if the chicken has to go through a lot of pain for the consumers' sake right? Fortunately, I think it's not that painful.

According to DOM_BIRD (http://www.afn.org/~poultry/egghen.htm): "The bird stands high above the egg and rests, beak open and panting after the heavy work. The entire process (from rising to dropping the egg) is quite fast and is finished within half a minute." Thank goodness.

Had a quarrel with dad over the double yolk eggs that mum buys in a carton. He says he doesn't eat them cos he thinks those eggs are GM and god knows what side effects they'll bring. That's so crazy, I love double yolk eggs! Told him that the producers probably did an x-ray or sth to see if there were 2 yolks but he didn't believe me. But look what I've googled again:

"In egg processing factories (or farms!) they put eggs over a light box to check for defects, and you can see the yolk and if there are two yolks you can tell. They do this to check that if chicks are growing inside fertilised eggs too. Like yolk-less eggs (yes, they do happen in nature) they are usually laid by very young chickens who have just started producing." y('_')y =D=D

Day 9

Haha I'm super duper free this morning, cos my boss is .... no where to be found. Just wanted to drop a note to commemorate my 1 year in public svc!

So fast time flies.

I won't lie about how I don't feel jaded upon passing the 1 year mark, about how I don't feel like retiring already, how when I'm assigned some new piece of work I don't feel like I've been passed a disease. All these are true, but I think work is inevitable and you just have to do what you have to do everyday, and do it brilliantly.

My intern Eli pointed out in her internship report that I just vetted that there is a "vast difference" between work assignments and school projects. She learnt the importance of interpersonal communication and having the appropriate mindset at the workplace. For instance, it was very essential to be positive about all big and small tasks, to show tolerance of and learn how to work around different working styles and to embrace responsibility and the opportunity to make decisions. She concluded that the attachment has been extremely rewarding to her.

I feel lucky that I got to read her positive reflections on my 1 year mark. There indeed is a difference between undergrads and the working class. This sort of optimism that you find in students don't come to me that freely anymore =p Kudos to her for helping me realise how much learning I've accumulated over the year, how I've quite successfully adapted to a different environment, and feel good once again about my first anniverssary!

Day 8

Everyone has been asking me if I've any trips planned for the hols, and the answer is no, not with the H1N1 flu going around. But I still need breaks....I took pm leave on monday and spent the afternoon at Tanjong beach. Initially everyone was laughing at me for taking half-day instead of 1 day, and I finally saw their point while I was rushing to HBF, rushing to grab lunch and then rushing to Sentosa. Before I got to sentosa, all my muscles were bunched up. But it was a fun afternoon. It feels especially liberating when you're at the beach on a monday, enjoying the sun, sand and sea, instead of sitting at a desk in a tiny cubicle whittling your eyesight away, and it is a choice YOU made.

Last week I was working my a** off in the office, putting in extra hours. This week everything is on standstill because either my bosses are away or they just don't hv time for me. Sounds like a spoilt kid right? But it is really horrible when your boss ignores you deliberately or unintentionally. There's this huge bottleneck and it's getting on my nerves because of the fact that the bottleneck is actually at the bosses' level, and at my pathetic level, you can't tell them to shove it. There really is no unemployment in this downturn except structural unemployment.

Things I've learnt this week:
1) If you're gg to take leave, take full day.
2) If you're gg to Sentosa looking for a getaway, avoid school holidays which gives children more reason to scream their heads off and chitter-chatter away like there's no tmr.
3) Instant noodles can taste much better than normal food.
4) I've learnt how to blade!!
5) How much I love my friends.

Day 7

Went to collect my biometric passport today. Did you know that the new passport no. is different from your NRIC? Pa said that it's so that if the passport is lost, you can write off the passport no. but not the NRIC. Cool, makes sense. It's also cool that the new biometric book looks just like the old book except that it has an embedded chip inside it, which of course you can't see. Third amazing thing abt passports is how the photos never fail to capture the most unglamous side of you. I thought I was finally done with ugly looking passport photos- the last one stucked for *omg* 10 years, but no... For the next 5 years, I'll be the freaky-girl-with-half-eyebrows. But whatever, at least it looks better than its predeccesor. I thank the msian customs guy who gave me the excuse to be rid of the old photo, cos he wrote in my passport "renew photo, final" using no less than a black ink pen.

Have managed to learn how to control the direction after blading down a slope today. This is after a few falls of course, but it's really an achievement. I've been trying to pick up new skills recently, one by investing in a pair of rollerblades and two in signing up for Elementary Japanese course. The hefty price for this is that my weekends are burnt out and I get an earful every week for treating home as a hotel, but I will take it in my stride.

I meant to upload a pic of my new blades, but I can't find the cable for my phone:(

Day 6

There's nothing like a good weekend, especially one where all the time is delicated to yourself. I felt totally recharged after last week's long break. Plus this week's May Day holiday, I hope I'll be able to have more breakthroughs next week.

Nothing much happened this week, except that I finally submitted my application for the Ucard. Spent so long trying to get a passport size photo for it. Not that I didn't have any, but to find one that was "passable" was like asking for the moon. Anyway, I was asking the lady about subsequent renewal fees when she said, "Just renew la, why not? Just let lim swee say protect you" .....Dots.... I did a double take. LSS? I don't need (want) his protection. Union protection brings to mind those days where men & women raised their fists and shouted slogans like 'fight for workers' rights', days where tv was still black & white, ....days before I was even born. But wait a minute, what did I just signed up for? Ucard lar, what was I expecting? But seriously, i didn't know that there were still people out there having the sort of mindset that there was this "dai gor" that was covering their backs.

The pre-baby-boomers generation at the workplace really stun me sometimes. There is this other bizzare incident where I was talking to this guy when he said "我的内人..." "内人?".....More dots.... I can't believe people still refer to their wives like that! And he used it not just once but all the time. Still can't help cringing every time he says that.

Day 5

Why is it that I try to show consideration towards everyone but no one is willing to spare a thought for me?

Why is it that I do my best but it doesn't register in the minds of the people who matter most to me?

I'm not that strong.

Day 4

This morning I was pouring out my grievances at the office to Pa and Leng on the drive to work and I found out that voicing out your thoughts helps you figure things out faster and better. Most of the time, I don't talk about my problems, and that is to my disadvantage.

I was exclaiming how frustrating it was when things "ding-dong" at work when all there was to do was for my boss to make the judgement call. I was missing the big picture all along. As Dad rightly put it, "Different level management have different considerations". I'm still such a novice, unable to spot things that are out of place, unable to present my thoughts coherently, and not thorough enough in my work. I overlooked things in the website updating, I did not follow up on loose ends dilligently. Basically I took things too lightly. Take for example a set of slides we were preparing for CE. I thought that by making the changes that he wanted, following exactly what I was told to do, the work was finished and I chucked the drafts away. But then a senior came over and wanted the drafts with CE's comments from me just to understand management's line of thought.

I'm just too operational. I don't know if it's a civil service culture to have your backs covered, anticipate questions and prempt things, but if everyone's doing it, I should learn it too right? Going back to the "ding-donging" I realised that my boss was simply trying to make sure we make the prettiest decision just in case Chmn asks why things were that way. Moving forward, I will need to put in more effort to find out the rationale behind every proposal and decision made.

Day 3

Looks like this year my blog posts would be fewer than last year. I'm struggling this morning being fired up mentally but tired physically. Attended a netball practice last evening after work and it was terrific. Being newcomers, PW and I were really stunned by our "coach". It was really great cos neither of us expected the level of seriousness the ladies took to the game. I was never into team sport so I never officially had a coach, but this lady was great. Judging by the way she gives commands and corrects our mistakes, she must have been a real coach once. PW instinctively answered "Yes Ma'am" every time she gave advice and I was half imagining myself to be in a girls home having netball practice. It was cool. I felt like I was having PE lessons in school once again, sweated it out, and then hopped onto the bus to become a stinking public nuisance.

Day 2

It just takes 1 lesson of yoga to turn me into a cynic. I was restless throughout the class, wishing that I had signed up for aerobics or sth more vigourous. I also couldn't avoid looking into that full-wall mirror in front of us that just magnified what I was feeling inside--- ungraceful and inadequate. The teacher led us through an hour of stretching and deep breathing exercies. The motions were simple enough, but I had to keep peeking at the person next to me to see if my poses were correct. Something about the class comprising all female students and a male instructor also rubs me the wrong way. Most of all, that airy-fairy "imagine yourself on a beach" nonsense does not work for me. However, all the ladies on my level are believers and they have signed up for a second time. Why? Since when have I developed such an uncanny tendency to detract value from things? This deserves some reflection. Either that or I need to reflect on why I've succumbed to peer pressure and signed up for 8 lessons.

Dad made a funny judgement that day. He said that the reason why I didn't hold the chopsticks the right way was because I didn't practice livelong learning. If I'm a livelong learner, I'll correct the way I hold chopsticks. Omg! Being a smart-aleck I rebuked that if so he shld use the blade shaver instead of the battery-operated one. But in retrospection, maybe there's some truth in it. Some day.....some day.... I shall try to master the art of holding chopsticks the right way.

The start of this year was pretty only briefly. For the past 2 weeks I've been sloughing like an Ox, even before cny. I did a lot of work, but still cld not do everything. My RO had to step in to finish what he assigned to me. This is kind of demoralizing because I think I did a lot of background work that went unnoticed. He didn't consult me but started everything afresh. Now I'm in regret that I cut down the no. of trips I make to his office. My 6mth appraisal is still pending, this is kind of scary...

It has been a depressing week, LY's away, OT every other day, missed my jog, lousy weather...

Day 1

New stuff i've tried in 2008-- ice skating, singapore flyer...Countdown to 2009-- beautiful night with simply awesome fireworks and we got the best spot
Best meal of the year-- crab porridge

Day 37

If someone told you:

'There's a rule in this state that says you can take a right on red, if you stop first at the red light.'

'What if a judge told you that you can't turn right on red- that you must stay stopped until the lights goes green again, even if there's a sign in front of you that specifically says RIGHT TURN ON RED. What would you do?'

I just finished reading Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult. The lines are from a scene where the lawyers were screening jurors. The setup and question was a way to weed out the people who can't see past convention. If you chose not to turn right, you understand that rules aren't always what you think they are. If you turn right, welcome to the club.

Day 36

"Stomach flu" is a misnomer -- influenza, or flu, is an infection of the respiratory system and has nothing to do with the discomfort in your gut that occurs when one of the previously mentioned viruses produce inflammation in your stomach and intestines. The results are usually nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, fever, and abdominal cramps. You also might get a headache, chills, muscle aches, and fatigue.

Stomach flu viruses are transmitted through direct contact as well as indirect contact (touching something that's carrying the germs of an infected person, such as a countertop, a toy, or a toilet, and then touching your mouth). Noroviruses can also be spread through food (commonly shellfish, vegetables, and salad greens) and through contaminated water.

I've got stomach flu for 1 week and passed it on to Leng who's having her exams. I've got it twice already in 4 months. *Sigh* My condition was more severe than Leng, but it was good to have her company. Lol. Cos she'll copy whatever remedy I try. We ate po chai pills, charcoal pills, even applied the medicated oil that I hate so much. (reason 1: it has a smell that reminds me of old women, reason 2: putting it is like announcing to the whole wide world that you have diahrrea.) The only thing we didn't do the same was that she drank salt wated. Yeewww....

Anyway I just wanted to bring up some home care tips. We had this disagreement with our Dad whether we should drink Vitagen. He said that it was a milk products and milk products are a "no-no" when you've got diarrhea. However, the Vitagen ads have sold us on the idea that it contains good bacteria that can fight harmful bacterial like e.coli blah blah blah...

This is what howstuffworks.com said:

"Active cultures of beneficial bacteria (probiotics) make diarrhea less severe and shorten its duration. Probiotics can be found in yogurt with active or live cultures and in supplements."

So......we won! Even though the label says "Cultured Milk Drink", it's safe to drink. Yay! ^_^y

Other tips i didn't know:

1) You shld not take caffeinated beverages.
2) Eat stuff like rice, dry toast, and bananas. I don't know abt rice and toast, but I think bananas help because they replenish the sodium lost.

I also went to the ENT specialist and dentist this week.

Outcome:
1) I found out that the clinical dignosis for having a problematic tap-like nose is Rhinitis. I've to be on nasal spray for 2 months. I think it could have been avoided if I had faithfully stuck to it a few years back. At that time I didn't perserve because I didn't like spraying things into my nose. But I found out on Monday what could be worse......having the doctor put a scope down your nostrils. I really need to get my nose cured so that I don't have to go for so many examinations whereby they put foreign objects into your nose. $64 for something so mentally and physically discomforting.

2) I came out of the dentist feeling so smug that I wondered whether it showed on my face and if my brother would punch me because....well I looked so smug. Haha. The dentist said my teeth was well-maintained, no need for fillings whatsoever. I was feeling smug because it was my first dental checkup in like some 6, 7 years and he said it was well-maintained. But it was a real neighbourhoody kind of neighbourhood clinic, I did feel like getting a second opinion when I came out of the clinic, but it was easier and cheaper to let smugness take over.

Day 35

For quite some years I've been hating the Nov-Jan period. It rains all day, making the days seem long and melancholic. I used to like the rainy season when I was in kindergarden and primary school. Was very perplexed when they taught us to sing "rain rain go away". But now I find the wet weather intolerable. One because the weather changes have become more extreme due to global warming that it drizzles are few and downpours aplenty. Two because I now suffer from the "cold feet syndrome" literally and I really can't stand the cold.

There were not enough warm bodies on the 19th floor today and I was freezing. Was holed up in my cubicle doing research on SMEs. This is what I found:


Got a presentation again this week. This time I don't feel good about it because I've got 70 slides but only enough time for 15. And how I suck at summarizing. Have a few days more to get my act together.

心理測驗

心理測驗題目：什麼原因會讓你想哭?

排一下自己最易哭的原因! (1是最容易 , 5是最不容易)

a.感動 b.傷心 c.痛( 是肉體, 不是心靈) d.生氣 e.擔心/緊張


My results∼

感動：不是跟你很熟的人覺得你是......
一個傻傻的人。怪怪的。想做什麼就做什麼。不過很可愛。

傷心：跟你很熟的人覺得你是......
對很多事都要求很高的人。不過有很多時候都太固執。

痛：你想要別人覺得你是......
不是那麼容易接近的人。

生氣：你最希望你的情人是......
智慧很重要。可以管得到你的人。而且要講道理。

擔心 /緊張：其實真實的你是......
直接的人。很多時候因為這樣的性格跟別人不合。希望有多一點人可以了解你, 特別是你喜歡的人。

Day 34

Was overwhelmed by a sense of achievement at work on Friday. We were supposed to submit our slides for today's meeting but a new finding came up in the morning which tripped our entire analysis. But it is in times like that where we are forced to work under pressure that we produce the best results. Managed to work around the problem and came up with a convincing flow of argument. I like these kinds of scenarios, they remind me of school whereby we rushed to meet project deadlines=]

I came up with a follow-up for the THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO ON THE JOB:

CORPORATE JARGON YOU WILL ENCOUNTER IN THE CIVIL SERVICE:
* gain traction * bandwidth * my sense is * organic * bounce off * touch base * higher-ups * table papers * give heads-up * get buy-in * discuss offline * tranche * escalate to * levers * exigencies *...(and all sorts of acronyms).

Day 33

Saturday was nvac appreciation dinner. The dinner was passable, I barely remember what we ate. Only remember there were a lot of candies being passed around and I stopped to check if the Dove chocolates were made in China. I've some Dove chocs sitting on my office table for weeks and I cldn't decide whether to risk getting melamine poisoning or throw the chocs away. For the record, the box said they were not made in China. I decided this fact cld be extended to those Dove chocs in the office too so they didn't land up in the bin. I'm just not for wasting food.

Was in anticipation for lunch with Jon and LY at XinWang Hong Kong Cafe (Anchorpoint) that day since Jon promised a bdae treat. And besides we haven't met each other for quite some time. My pockets were supposed to be safe since it was a treat, yet, I was cajoled by the Chinese waitress to sign up for membership in exchange for a bottle of red wine and Tiger beer. With such an attractive carrot dangling, I had no choice but to bite.

Part of the deal was to spend more $40 (more than we intended), so I splurged on a caramel fresh toast. Caramel!!! I was on a high all through the aftn MWH session. Thought I shld mentioned this: after the session Jon reflected that actually the 中国妹 was rather cute. *Hai* Some ppl 死性难改....tsk, tsk, tsk.....hahaha

Jam further made my day when she presented her homemade muffins as a birthday gift. It came complete with box, bow and card! It's like omg....no one has ever baked for me! Appreciated the effort put in =]

The best takeaway from the Apprecation dinner was the exhilaration in doing starjumps and to play "Chase" on the wonderfully green lawn in Hort Park. Some ppl actually forgot how to play "Chase", can you imagine?!

We didn't forget to have fun on our bus ride back either. Jon, LY and I struggled to open the Tiger beer bottle. We tried means and ways to open it without a bottle opener. Eventually 巾帼不然须眉, I managed to open it with a pair of scissors and the three of us shared the warm beer. There was very little to go around. Come to think of it, 330ml /3, each of us actually drank only 110ml. Wonder why we were so thrilled....*L*

Day 32

Close to 3 months on the job and I've done some of the THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO ON THE JOB:

1. Spell your boss' name wrongly and have him point it out to you
2. Spam all the higher management's email such that their mail quota is exceeded and their PAs start calling
3. Provide the wrong tel no. and have all agencies trying to get you call a no. that's not in use
   
4. Tell your boss he is too much of a purist and his approach is impractical
5. Snub your director when she says Good Morning to you because you're still in a morning daze
6. When you boss tells you he thinks the figures you generate are wrong, tell him that you're absolutely sure it's 100% correct such that he gives up asking you and decides to regenerate it himself
7. Put on the line your credibility with the ministry higher up half the time
   
8. Apply for so many positions in the ministry higher up that when you go for meetings for with your bosses, they are so amused because there is no need for introductions since everyone knows you

I think there were more faux pas but I can't remember them now. Fortunately my boss is a very good-natured man and is just mildly amused by all the above.

Day 31

I don't think the results of the personality tests are accurate. Did them out of sheer boredom and depression. But the results for the third test is stunning. I wonder how many people out there are "too complicated".

I went for personality tests for my present job as well. On the 2nd interview, the CE informed me that I'm the only one in the whole organisation that has confused the computer. Apparently the computer could not generate a personal profile for me. They told me they could not understand why but since the personality test was only to supplement the recruitment process, I got hired anyway.

The funny thing is dumb people like me happily and diligently put in 85% of thought into choosing which blanks on the OAS to shade. And when the results come out....."plunk".....They don't even tell you "sorry to disappoint". They tell you "you're too complicated". This is unacceptable.

Personality tests

Get to know yourself better: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

The Real You: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test81.aspx

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
4. Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

Who is your dream guy: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test64.aspx

Here is the analysis:

According to your answers; if you are not kidding, you are too complicated. Sorry, we are unable to offer the analysis. Press Back button on you browser, check ONE question that you were not completely sure and try again with a different answer that you think it would be correct.

Shoot, not again.................

Day 30

10 mins ago, I met the most remarkable gentleman in my office bldg. This man greeted everybody he met, even those who didn't knew him (incl me). He also *gasped* stood outside the lift door holding it open for the ladies to go in first before entering himself. This man works on the 18th floor, everyone from the receptionist to the cleaning lady knows him. They called him "老板/boss". He looks like a very happy man. If I had a boss like that I think I'll be extremely lucky. The nx time I see him I must remember to introduce myself!

hmm....think this sounds like a post written by some primary sch kid....

Day 29

I've quite given up on following the news on the political turmoil and successions etc. Just these couple of years there've been so many changes in government all over the world. I ever tried creating a list of the more notable world leaders but then very soon my list became obsolete. So there, I've given up. Just give me what happened in the end....what happens in between I don't want to know. I know Mum's with me on this cos I saw her scan through the newspp headlines only in the morning. My heart goes out to those journalists who hv to write lengthy news reports, really hope there are ppl out there who follow what they write even though we don't. Haha. Lazy ppl like us rely more on the radio or tvmobile for news updates.

There was talk over lunch that our small red dot shld be very worried that all our neighbours are experiencing problems. Why aren't we worried? Perhaps we are that's why we hv our massive displays by the NAF every at NDP. But can you believe we're celebrating our paralymic gold when the whole sea is all the rage abt Anwar and Somchai Wongsawat.

A: What if our neighbours develop the green-eye syndrome? Does Singapore have enough ammunition to stand up to them?

B: That's why we stock up.

C: Don't worry, the Indonesians can have their parangs, the Msians can have their black magic, Thais can have their vodoos, Singaporeans only need their passports.

To me it's not so much an issue whether we'll leave when war comes. To me, war is a remote possibility. Our vulnerability is "understandably" overhyped by the govt.

Just yest I was at a mtg and someone pointed out that one idea that was floating about came about because of one minister's speech. This idea it turns out has been floating around for sometime. I was wondering isn't "floating"= "driftwood"? Everyone's practicing taichi here? Did not dare breathe to anyone that I had treated that particular speech/presentation with reverence, memorised most of the stuff and used the arguements as key points in my answers for the job interviews and tests. Uh-oh....

Day 28

Our neighbour is our window into the rich men's world. Their home cooked food is our restaurant fare, their parties our Food Fest. I finally undestand why one of my girlfriends can go around declaring she's a taitai wannabe. She's one with foresight. Can you be faulted for wanting to live a life like that? Or put another way, can your be faulted for not wanting to live a life of complaining about rising food prices, haggling over the price of fish, eating leftovers three meals a day, walking a few km to buy that one item on sale at Shop&Save because it's a few cents more expensive at ntuc?

I thought of how commonly people will bring up the plight of the African kids and go into diatribe about food wasting, lavish living etc. Sour grapes argument aside, I feel that it's natural for human beings to want better for themselves. If you are rich and successful, why would you want to scrimp and be hard on yourself. Remember the story of Scrooge?

Recently I started working and I realised that it's actually essential and beneficial to reward oneself. You need not eat lavishly for all three meals a day, but neither need you eat poorly for all three meals. Out of three meals, one hearty meal will give you enough oomph for the day. It's a little like the Joy Luck Club where the ladies celebrate with their "luxurious" food items during the war. I want to feel that I'm lucky too. S. Levitt rightly identified in Freakonomics that everyone is driven by incentives and perks. I'm not wasting food, I'm just incentivising myself so that I can go further.

You can be symphathatic towards the Third World plight too if you're rich. In fact, you can be more symphathatic because you're in a better person to help them. See those rich taitai clubs? You can still live a relatively good life after approportioning a part of your wealth to help others. Of course you can always do more, if you give up that buffet at Meritus Mandarin you can feed 100 more kids, but I don't have the aptitude or inclination to become a missionary. From the bottom of my heart, I want to better the lives of a few others, but I'm not looking to be Father/Mother of Africa. There's just so much that you can do.

Besides reinstilling in me the motivation to work hard, my neighbours' galavanting ways have also put me back in perspective about my cooking skills. I always thought being able to cook homemade dishes put me a teeny-weeny notch higher than my peers who cannot. But when I saw my neighbours homemade dishes, my first instinct was to take out my camera and snap away. Only then did I realise how "country" I was =/

To my neighbours for their 'enlightening' meal.~

Day 27

If Midas could turn any object to gold, you can turn any happiness to sorrow. Quit playing. Unless you've tons of money to burn, you'll burn your fingers. And burning your fingers is the least of it cos everyday your family lives as if they're burning in hell. As if ruining your own life is not enough, you've to ruin everyone else's life. You can have nice cosy bbqs in the porch but nothing can mask the fact that the family is nothing more than dsyfunctional. We live day by day believing that it takes more than that to bring us down. Is it?

Anyone in your position would have woken up and tried to mend things. If you're bad at something, do something else and stop making what you're bad at so glaring, even if it takes pretending so be it. Stop hovering!

Day 26

Had a satisfying bbq this evening after it just rained. The electric grill is pretty good stuff...no mess from the charcoal but the wait for the food was longer.

Grandma came briefly today accompanied by the maid. Actually this morning I was over at her place to give piano lessons to the boys but they had forgotten to inform me that they were in KL so it was a wasted trip. Good thing was I got to accompany Mum, Leng and Leong to ntuc and the wet market. I've not been to the wet market for quite some time ever since piano became on Sunday mornings, which is the only time mum goes to the market. Recognised a few of the stall owners that she has been patronising ever since we were kids but every one seems to have aged. I feel that the recession has been taking a toil on everybody... I keep hearing them say "everything is so expensive nowadays"... This kind of statement grips you more strongly when you're in the heartlands.

Well back to the maid. I feel that my family just don't know how to handle maids. Nobody in the family has had one so it feels awkard when somebody suddenly has one. I sense a bit of hostility towards a foreign person in the household yet at the same time it's really strange cos nobody asks her to do anything! I'm not advocating that we shld order her to do everything and exploit her for our money's worth or anything. But I don't see a point in paying for a maid to stay with you and yet not asking her to do anything. Grandma is too nice, she was hired to help relieve her in doing the household chores but I still see her cooking, doing the marketing etc. when she can just ask the maid to do it! Grandma says it's because the maid can't cook well. And another reason is that the old folks will "slow down" if they don't do anything. But i just don't like to see grandma working hard when the maid is not.

I think people shld be nice to their maids, not be hostile twds them, afterall they left their families behind to come work for us, it's a terrible thing. But don't be the maid to your maid!

Day 25

I counted the average age of the people in my department- 39! As compared to my friends in other ministries and agencies, I think my department is the oldest. I'm in corporate planning now, and i think the head was right at the interview, the job fit is quite good. I'd have felt out of place in a slacker department. At CP, you need to know everything under the sun abt the organisation. It's not abt specialization, it's about the macro pic. Since i'm the kind of person who wants to cover all the bases, I guess the job suits me. Initially i wanted to start higher, in the ministry above us, but i guess i was too greedy. Coincidentally here i've been tasked to staff the mtgs with that ministry so i'll be seeing a lot of those ppl who interviewed me lol. Over there i was told firefighting formed the bulk of the work, here my boss told me from day 1 that he did not like firefighting and prefers to look ahead, afterall what's CP without the P? I'm thankful for that because i realised how i cld've languished if i were to do firefighting. Of course there are some parts of the job here that i didn't expect, but i did ask for a challenging job.

There are many old-timers here who've worked more than 10 years, my buddy is one. Apparently he's the buddy of everyone new in the dept cos he's been ard for so long. It's interesting to go lunch with these people beacuse they can really EAT. For example, we went to Queensway last week and just for lunch alone, we had claypot laksa, avocado juice, fruit plate and egg tarts. Then we also went to Liang Court another day for Shabu Shabu Ramien and just yesterday it was Earle's Swensons for deparment lunch. But that's the final straw, i've resolved after Liang Court to find new eating partners and cheaper eating places cos i can't afford to eat like that the whole time.

Day 24

Fell down abt 3 weeks ago after watching Dark Knight (nus guild hse). I haven't fell down for so long that i forgot how it was like to do so. You don't feel the pain right after the fall, just numbness and perhaps a bit of shock, which gives you enough time brace yourself to walk out of the theatre. You think you're alright but wait until the agony comes, then inconvenience....and after a few weeks, the scars. I suppose it was a combination of reasons that I fell, but Leng brought up a very good pt, "WWIATF?"

I cannot decide if i've "settled in" at my workplace. A part of me don't want to "settle in", just want to bum around. How can there be "settling in" when u're expected to do OT in your 1st week on the job? How can you prevent putting urself in a comfort zone and "settle in" at the same time? Is it just me who can't draw the line or is the world made up of too many grey parts?

There's a whole new meaning to "weekends" too once you start work. Played basketball with Huang Di on Sat, went to Settlers and Breeks (played bridge) on Sun with the Econs gang. It was fun, but these days there are just too many ppl around me who've been making me feel that leisure is not sth i'm entitled to. =[

Day 23- Graduation

I've Graduated!

'Graduation' embodies so much- 20 years of hardwork, from tingxie in pri sch, to differentiation in sec sch, to kinematics in jc and macroeconomics in uni.

Someone gave it a funky name Commencement instead of Convocation (Mum and Dad kept insisting that's what they used to call it in the past) because it marked the beginning of a new journey, not the end of one.

This year's theme was “Celebrating Excellence”, and I was picked to attend the main ceremony on 7 July where i got to shake Nathan's hand. Think i wasted the golden opportunity though. I was so fully concentrated on walking carefully so that the gown wldn't flare at the knees that I forgot to smile and look at the camera. The president was looking so serious too. He probably thought "this girl looking so serious, i shld look serious too"...and there!...all the joy there was supposed to be on this joyous occasion dissipated in that brevity I looked stern on stage. Unfortunately there's no more chance for me to change things...

I was very lucky to attend Commencement 08 as a graduand, a student assistant (scala) and an audience. Of the 3, being an audience was the best because you get to dress prettily, enjoy the celebrative atmosphere while basking in someone else's glory, not yours i.e. no anxiety on your part. After 1 week of 3-times-a-day ceremonies, I became so familar with not only the protocol but also the buffet table. =D

And hmm....I'm starting work tmr at a stat board. My first job! Not my dream ministry but I think I'll make the best of every path opened to me. I believe things will pan out well.

“The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.”

Day 22

My third Juxtapose camp! This time i was a slacky a.ogl., nobody knew i was a.ogl except our ogl. After last year's tiring experience as progs head, this time I only wanted to go there to enjoy the games, and leave nus with a gd memory of the jux camp. Was a gd thing cos if i hadn't made the decision to go down, i'd hv missed out on being in the most wacky OG ever! Our Huang Di family was the most fantastic-- fashionably late because we took too many 'shortcuts' but our camaradie was the envy of all the other groups. We played urban warfare like G.I.Joes, danced the best and most coordinated bamboo dance like production line workers, ruled the ultimate frisbee games, put up an absurb performance of a dysfunctional royal family, and even spilled intimate details of our toileting habits.....

http://huangdijiadao.blogspot.com/

Day 21 Picnic at MacRitchie!!

Day 20

I'm drowning my sorrows with MariGold Blueberry Yogurt now because a good friend failed to inform me that there was a gathering today. It doesn't feel good inside....On the bright side, i met this econs girl at Bank M today and also met Eugene from icomp. She hazarded a guess that we were from odac but in actuality we were from the slackest cca ard. I'm glad my figure still doesn't give away that i've not been exercising for centuries.

Day 19

Went back to sch today to collect my commencement gown. Before this, I wasn't at all excited abt graduation, but when I went home, put on the gown for my parents to see....suddenly I felt washed over by achievement. Was reminded that I'd studied for close to 20 years for this day. It's not just 4 years in NUS, it's the entire journey that counts.

I thought gown collection was a fuss-free pick-up-and-go affair. What I didn't expect was that we'd to go through the maze through the MPSH from gown collection to the booths promoting plagues, studio portraits, memorabilia plushtoys, alumni donations etc. Commencement is such a good way to make money.

I signed up for the on-stage photoshots, hope they send me the 2 photos this time round. Back in Cedar i signed up and paid for the same thing during the grad cermony but the photos nv came. Atrocious memory!....or rather the lack of it. Dad's camera was blocked by someone's head so I had no photos of sec sch graduation. Bleah...

Day 18

I love my dad.... today's father's day but instead of me doing sth for him, he did sth for me! Knowing that I always use the laptop in bed, "dangerously" sharing the adapter with the aircon, he installed an additional socket near my bed. Think most dads will set the standard for their girls' potential date: My dad does everything DIY, that's why I can't stand guys who mess up when they hv to do things DIY.

Worked like a dog today....finally the last day of roadshow and we hit 77, twice our target. Think Zac was pleased, he wanted to close at 65.

Day 17

Eww....another old man asked me for my tel no. and to drink kopi again....eww.....Met him as I was walking to amk hub this morning.

It is World Blood Donor Day today and I given complimentary tickets to the Zoo. It was reasonably fun, but unreasonably sweaty experience. Abt 4500 blood donors were invited so it was really packed. I think I go to the zoo more often than many ppl of my age do haha, so i can tell which exhibits are new and which hv been taken away. Cldn't find the golden lion tamarines anymore, Ah Meng's gone, plus of course the penguin enclosure was gone as the ST had reported. Think I missed the giant tortises too. *Hai* Good thing the giraffes were still there....

Had Muturbak at The Prata House along Thomson Rd for lunch. Cldn't help comparing it to Mr Prata. Although this was crispier and the curry was less oily, it was less tasty, I still prefer the Clementi's which just has that "wow" factor in it.

Day 16

my soles ache like hell....from roadshow mania. =(

Went for 10 hr assessment centre at mfa on wed, a mentally draining experience. Feel dumb because i got lost while walking out to the main road. Ended up on Dempsy Hill, completely in the middle of nowhere. Having to tread all the in heels made everything worse.

Was so tired from standing all day long already yet I stayed up last night to research on ASEAN, APEC, LA, WTO....blah blah blah for the interview. But they didn't ask any technical qns at all and for waiting 20min, the interview was barely 5min. *glup*

~does the length of the interview reflect my chances?~

Day 15

Snoozed all the way from 0730 to 0815 today. Didn't want to get out of bed but I had to......had to go get JX's cake before the session today. One more reason was that I had to have that 2nd bowl of soya-barley for breakfast. Haha that's why I was late to meet Jon. But as usual, he was gracious to wait and to help do the "extra-strenuous" task of carry the cake.

It was a wonderful lunch outing with the residents today because he was such a hyperactive resident. It was like he had his own photo shoot and I was his beck-and-call assistant. I must try to get that photo with his arms around my shoulder lol.... so hilarious.... he directs the photographer! He enjoys attention and everyone was willing to provide that attention, so we were all amused. But it was terrible that JX and Jon commented that it was the first time they saw me so fierce when we got them to buy food. So embarrassing...=p But I'd to do it mah, he wasn't listening, didn't want to buy food and was a handful trying to direct the other residents too and chat up all the stall owners....*sigh*.... I even had to open a drain cover to retrieve a coin he dropped....

But it was worthwhile, cos i know he had a good time. He even remembered my name at the end of it all. I'm just sorry that I didn't pay enough attention. He was struggling to eat the noodles but I didn't realised until he finished it and then told the cleaner who collected the bowls that nx time they'd to cut the noodles. I know that the cleaner didn't get it but I got it.

Day 14

Was paid to have fun today. For $160, i brought some 16-yr-old korean students out to tour SG's historical precincts. I thought wld be given a detailed itinery and transport. There was an itinery, but so 'detailed' it was that it only said "Arab St, Little India and Chinatown".

Our first stop was Arab St which was actually a walking distance from Peninsular Hotel where we picked the students up, but because of the light rain we, lazy ppl (Tim, Tong Tong, me) took the train fr CityHall to Bugis, 1 stop away. Buying train passes was quick, but it was crazy having to collect back the deposit from the machine....

Toured the Sultan Mosque and had lunch there. So inexperienced and inadequate we were as tourguides, we had to scout for makan places in the drizzle and bargain with the eatery owners over the price of nasi bryani. We were told to help them save money and spend within the $10 they were given, but come to think of it, we shld hv just let the students pay. Bargaining was pathetic, we cld've had better food. We then walked to Little India to visit the temple there. Cld've seen more but the kids were didn't hv the stamina to go on. They were so shocked when they heard the temperature in SG was 32degrees and "there is no winter". They'd Mr. Slurpee from 7-eleven as a thirst-quencher but after that their lips turned bluish-purple that I'd the impression that they were severly dehydrated by our weather. So i gave up trying to push them to go on.

Our guides were all praying very hard for a double decker bus to ChinaTown because we didn't want to disappoint our charges. Apparently they don't hv double decks in korea....We didn't do much at Chinatown except got chased by the very rude coffeeshop lady boss across the Heritage Centre. *humpf* She was so very rude (I must repeat this) and I thought you were supposed to be polite to tourists?!

Anw I don't think we were very effective as tourguides, the students seemed quite bored by us. But nonetheless it was a good experience, at least I proved to Tim that I cld navigate us with the map around SG! *smug* Although I almost nv step foot into these places, I know abt them so it cldn't be considered an eye-opener, but it was definitely an interesting way to spend the day.

Went with LY to view flats in AMK. I nv believed ppl cld make so quick decisions abt their accommodations intentions, but guess i'm not a person-living-abroad and i'm an undecisive soul. Had a taste of how housing agents do biz and I remain suspicious of them even as a daughter of a housing agent.

Day 13

Ahh...realized how much i want the MTI job. Went for the written test today, it was much more fun answering the econs qns then those psychometric and linguistics tests for mindef and mfa. And i like the job description much better too.

We celebrated KYin's birthday on Fri evening starting with BBQ Chicken at Cine. The family set we got was a disappointment, there was not bbq at all, only fried chicked =(. But the Mezebar-Asian Tapas Bar at Meritus Mandarin which we went later is definitely a good place to chill out. They had those cute seats overlooking the streets but which only came in pairs (couple seats), so we sat in a corner in front of the huge LCD screen showing a soccer match instead. On the waitress' recommendation, we tried their signature cocktails: Tokyo Tea, Mojito, Margarita. I'm not sure if we drank a lot that day but the cab driver told us "you gals smell heavily of alchohol, better eat some mints before you get home or else your parents would surely scold you" Lol....thks....

Aft mwh on Sat we also went for chuan guan zi steamboat at Kallang. Someone mistook another PRC for the waiter! Tsk tsk tsk....

~ Second Upper with a C!!! ~

Day 12

Was pretty awake last night, shldn't have been cos it was just a psychometric test, but I don't know why I cldn't get to sleep. Was at mindef at 8am this morning for the test, it's my first baby step after filling up so many online job applications, but there was nothing noteworthy except that 1) the security guard made me feel dumb, 2) i realised all the ppl i've shortlisted to be my character referees are non-singaporeans i.e. they can't be used and my list is zero. For lunch i wished i'd capacity for more kfc but after eating 6 soup dumplings it was an uphill task. Cheese fries are not just cheese fries, they remind me of jc again. The first time i tried it was at parkway, on one of those Tues when it was half-price, subseq Tues visits ensued. At this point, I'm urging myself to stop rattling cos i'm reminded of someone's dismal opinion of me, "Is there anything else you think of other than food?" But Leng has declared that i owe her a kfc meal for being late in mtg her at Central Mall to shop....kfc again!

I'm beginning to think i'm hopeless. I keep adding food sites to my 'favourites' list:
http://smallpotatoesmakethesteaklookbigger.blogspot.com/

http://www.chubbyblackdog.com/

http://joey8881.multiply.com/recipes

Is there any wonder why I've plump cheeks?

I feel really energetic today cos i think the cough is wearing off. Was very sick the last week after staying up to fix the Pavillion, it gave me so much trouble! Made me cancel the steamboat dinner.....i feel so regretful. Was so glad for the opportunity to get outta the house when SJia had us over for majong on Wed night. It was so fun getting to play mj again despite the fact that i lost quite a lot of money, we even went for roti prata aft playing. But I overslept the nx morning and was late to meet Jon to visit Uncle Chun at his Tiong Bahru flat! Hmm, I used to be ok interacting with him but i've been under a lot of peptalk that he's an unsavory character and I shldn't mix too much with him. I feel that my judgement has been clouded and I can't decide now whether I shld still keep in contact with him. I'll adjourn judgement for the time being.

Results would be out tmr.....

After exams fun

Day 11

"You've been SuperPoked! Howyuan has graduated with you. Check it out!"

Finally I could breathe easier after the last paper today. Luckily we ended with Shin's paper cos afterall it's my favourite mod this sem. And luckily it didn't end with macro else i'll never have the mood to go out and enjoy with the peak-end rule taking effect. Totally cool to realise I've come so far to graduate...

As a reward, i watched National Treasure 2 in the aftn after cooking a hearty meal, and got hooked on the word game on facebook. Pearl wld hv "scoffed" at it, like she did when i suggested we go Settles to play board games instead of ktv ytd, "After the exams still want to use brain?" Why not? that's what I'm good at anw NT2 and the word game were both mind-boggling but exciting. Went to Mr Prata for dinner and was on cloud 9 on trying out the Milo Godzilla there. (What a resounding name) Until then, I'd forgotten the taste of raspberry ice-cream after forsaking it for chocolate or vanilla everytime.






Mr Prata has been one of my fav hangouts this sem.

Luck from Adam Smith

Taken in the econs dept on the last day of school.

It reminds me of a minimalist installation.

I name this "drawing luck from Adam Smith"

Hope the luck sees me though my 4 econs paper.

Day 10

Just came back from the supermarket. A bit irritated cos i was bullied by an old lady there. The auntie jumped the queue and on purpose. She was inching at 90-deg towards the queue and when she finally she stood right in front of me, she turned towards her back towards me to face the cashier and averted my 'stare'. OMG.... i don't quite like it when old ppl take advantage of being old and think that ppl will close one eye to whatever they do. I know at least my grandmother doesn't do that! I was doing a mental CBA on whether it'll be more efficient to let an elderly person go first or a younger one.....if i let the older person go first maybe it'll save her the "pain and suffering" she has to endure while queuing. But then since she doesn't have to work or have tons of modules to study, her time is probably worth less than the young person, me, so I shld go first. Sounds mean, but true.

I'm not being petty. I'd be most willing to let her jump the queue if she'd just asked in a kindly way and stated that maybe her legs were weak and cannot stand for long (my grandmother has this sort of problem), not just pretend that she has the right of way....

Anw maybe i was just being irritable just now because of the weather and a tough cba paper. Had lunch with Pearl and the CBA ppl and we were so stressed from the paper that we'd to sit in silence for a while to catch out breaths before we cld eat anything. Then I was baked at the com ctr bus stop while waiting for dad to pick me. Although the first paper was bad (i was panicking and got confused over the diagrams) i still feel glad today, probably because i'm finally in the game, no more waiting and waiting for the dreaded.....haha. Told Pearl that if today was bad, due to reversion to the mean, we'll do better tmr!

Very glad that i've dad to send me to sch for my 9am paper and reach at 8am. He has been doing so for the past 8 semesters which makes me feel very lucky. Mum deserves credit too for picking Leng & I up ytd and for preparing lotsa food supplements ever since we began our study week. I can't believe my arsenal of junk food this time round. I got Chipsmore, Liang got me Lemon warheads and tubes of Mentols, LY shared his butter cookies. I can't believe it too that I made an exception to go all the way to IMM to buy sushi & old chang kee on Sat cos the school ran out of it! Been trying to psycho myself that this is only temporary gluttony and I need breaks to prevent burnout. That's why i'm blogging now. Another morale boost after checking my mail. The only senior counsel i know said "good suggestions" =) It feels good cos he's this huge authoritative figure who works in an organisation that most econs students can only dream to work for, although he says he's only a shoe polisher for even higher ppl there. Sometimes i wish i were a shoe polisher too.....

Many encouragements hv been coming in, most said it's the last lap, jiayou! I've been too lazy to msg my well wishes to friends this sem so i'll do it here. To those who I always msg, Jon, Cat, WH etc. Jiayou to you guys too! All the best!

Day 9

We were at the airport to see Daryl off on Good Friday night..... I don't really like seeing people off, the moment you see that person through the departure gates and imagining that you won't see that person for ages. It's borders on overwhelming. I think only family should see you off, that's what I'd rather want anyways, to spend the last moments with them.

That was the trough, other times we were just simply horsing around.....at breeks and T3....

I love the flower structure there....was the only "life-form" there in the sprawling T3.

Posing a kawaii pose since he's gg to japan.

Yesterday was Saturday, had a fruitful shopping session with the auntie at mwh. We brought them to the neighbourhood centre to buy stuff like food and clothes. Then it was off for dinner before watching CO concert with LY at UCC. A couple of uninspiring pieces but on the whole it was good, got me reacquainted with some of the CO instruments.

Day 8

Masaru Emoto is an author known for his controversial claim that if human thoughts are directed at water before it is frozen, images of the resulting water crystals will be beautiful or ugly depending upon whether the thoughts were positive or negative. Emoto claims this can be achieved through prayer, music or by attaching written words to a container of water.

The tale of his capturing of water "expressions" was told to me in sec sch. Till today his theory still controversial. But even if it weren't scientifically proven, imagine without these good people trying to find theories to spread the good word of "love for humanity" how would our world be?

I learned another theory at the Superteen camp in sec sch. Just as positive thoughts can be directed at water, they can be directed at people too. For instance when a loved one is in a competition, you want him/her to win but he/she looks stressed. Try imagining a huge gigantic ring of flowers or those heart-shaped balloons flying from you towards him/her. It surrounds him/her and wraps him/her up (this can get a bit comical). If you like you can imagine even that the instant the flowers hit them, a warm glow of light emanates....., whatever.

The idea is your positive thoughts will somehow or another influence them so that they perform better. This subtle power of your thoughts can work not just in races but also other situations like....when someone is sick. I practice it and it works all the time, the only disclaimer is that you can't try it on your Fluff Pet. THAT's when it doesn't work.

Day 7

It was all set this morning that this post was to be a grievance outpouring session. I had so much to grumble, grouse and complain......Last night, I was looking like an effigy of a ghost due to a futile research attempt for my biz project, my being implicated in some mess, and other many things that were not looking good. But the sky did not come crashing down, at least not in the afternoon.

This afternoon I earned 8 bucks again through behav class, it was the highest amt again. Wong proclaimed that i was a lucky girl and proposed i buy 4D. This made me think that perhaps some forces above were taking care of me afterall. Even if i do feel alone, despaired sometimes, there are small positive things in life that if i paid enough attention, i'd notice.

It's just like in the movie Spiderwick's Chronicles i caught on Sat. The magical realm is all about us if only we look closely enough. Fairies in the flowers....etc. There are good things abound in this world worth noticing and unfortunately most ppl miss out on them and it's a great loss.

So I decided to count my blessings today, like how I managed to squeeze up the crowded 151, caught my fav song on radio, received a biscuit fr Pearl, ate chocolates when I came home, enjoyed the fine weather, had friends asking abt my weekend, and even chatted with Cremers.

Day 6

i've made it to another term at ycm.

Although i still have the lingering sense of misfit in this "bastion of exclusivity" that i described 1 yr back (Apr 07), i decided to go ahead and sign on for a new term. Between doing something good for the society and "putting up" with being 'cold cornered', i choose the former.

Sitting on the panel is like back-office work, it does not give as much satisfaction as working with people at the grassroot level, but it's still a form of community involvement. It's a given that you've to grade projects online, meet the applicants, go for panel meetings, attend special events and what not, but through it i've a chance to give back to society and a chance to meet young people who have more drive than me in propelling changes in our community (and look up to them till my neck is strained)....it's a good thing isn't it?

Moreover, after 1 year i've taken a new view on being 'cold cornered'. Some people esp. extroverts gain energy from interacting with people, they are the ones you see constantly 'networking' at social functions. I used to look at this people and wonder how they are so intelligent and can have an infinitely so many ideas on what to talk about, but not so much now. Because i realised that there's another group of ppl, the introverts, who replenish their strength by just keeping quiet. I realised that I liked heading straight to a corner during panel meetings because that's where i'm in my element. I also realised that the ppl at ycm hv also got used to leaving me alone.... i guess you can call it a form of respect for diversity? lol

But at the crux of it all, i'm really fascinated by the idea of youth empowerment.^^ Afterall everyone has only one chance of being young, we're endowed with 'energy' and 'ideals' while young and it's always worthwhile to pursue them while you can.

Went for the training session on Sat where i helped facilitate 1 segment of it. The new batch of panelists seems more friendly....i'm sure next term wld be better. After 1 term of warming up, it's time to sprint now!

Day 5

Recess break is over *chew nails* and most of my deadlines are postponed to nx wk or the week after. I'm not particularly sure if this is a good or bad thing for me. As a sophisticate with time-inconsistent preference i.e. procastinator, deadlines are actually good commitment technology for me. Recently i've been putting off taking a proactive stance to secure a job before graduation and i feel it does not reflect very well on me at all, neither does it signal a dashing future for me. But as usual a whole host of factors (real or imagined) stand in my path. For one, my 'environment' dictates that I can't plan my future beyond one week. (This is probably disappointing for some but all i can say is my hands are tied)

In quite a behavioural econs mood today and it can be attributed to 3 reasons. I worked my referee report till 2am yest, lunched with the lecturer this aftn, and had a sudden winfall of $30 in class today:)

Does this call for a celebration? I think it'll have to wait till i can fully get 'in the zone' again for at least 5 hrs a day. Decline in marginal productivity has set in exceptionally early for me and this is bad bad bad....

~Who is willing to spar with me?~

Taken from 畿米

My Chinese is too lousy to make me a avid reader of Chinese poems, but this one that i chanced upon somehow resonates with my "caption" above.

神秘分界线

小丑的世界，总被一分为二，
一半阳光，一半阴影；
一半欢乐，一半凄凉。
我真想知道，
那一条神秘的分界线究竟是什么？

And this one is super poetic & touching....

And a "kissing cousin" to it....

烙印下脚印的沙滩，已被海浪卷去。
而我们一起走过的路，并没有随之消逝。
美丽的回忆，早已融化在海水里，载到地平线去。
走到任何一片沙滩，我都能嗅到对你淡淡的思念。
就这样，我拥有了整个世界。

Day 4

Another bonding session-- We had our mwh chalet at Coasta Sands Downtown East.

Somebody said the act of Pledging Alliances was to display ur artistic talent...or the lack of it.

These gals got it right with their Artsy pigss!

Group photo on Second day

Googled this this morning....in light of Chikungunya scares this seems befitting:

Q: What exactly happens when you get a mosquito bite?
A: The mosquito stabs into your skin with its proboscis, injects an anti-coagulant to stop the clotting process and then sucks its full of your blood.

Q: I have 4 bites on my legs 1 on my foot and one on my hand and arm. what makes them so rediculasly itchy?
A: It's proteins in the mosquito's saliva, which it injects in order to prevent the blood from clogging. As these proteins are destroyed in temperatures of over 45°C, a method is to hold a not-too-hot cup of coffee or tea against the bite for about a minute, then it won't ever itch again. I always do this and it works great.