Day 9

We were at the airport to see Daryl off on Good Friday night..... I don't really like seeing people off, the moment you see that person through the departure gates and imagining that you won't see that person for ages. It's borders on overwhelming. I think only family should see you off, that's what I'd rather want anyways, to spend the last moments with them.

That was the trough, other times we were just simply horsing around.....at breeks and T3....

I love the flower structure there....was the only "life-form" there in the sprawling T3.

Posing a kawaii pose since he's gg to japan.

Yesterday was Saturday, had a fruitful shopping session with the auntie at mwh. We brought them to the neighbourhood centre to buy stuff like food and clothes. Then it was off for dinner before watching CO concert with LY at UCC. A couple of uninspiring pieces but on the whole it was good, got me reacquainted with some of the CO instruments.

Day 8

Masaru Emoto is an author known for his controversial claim that if human thoughts are directed at water before it is frozen, images of the resulting water crystals will be beautiful or ugly depending upon whether the thoughts were positive or negative. Emoto claims this can be achieved through prayer, music or by attaching written words to a container of water.

The tale of his capturing of water "expressions" was told to me in sec sch. Till today his theory still controversial. But even if it weren't scientifically proven, imagine without these good people trying to find theories to spread the good word of "love for humanity" how would our world be?

I learned another theory at the Superteen camp in sec sch. Just as positive thoughts can be directed at water, they can be directed at people too. For instance when a loved one is in a competition, you want him/her to win but he/she looks stressed. Try imagining a huge gigantic ring of flowers or those heart-shaped balloons flying from you towards him/her. It surrounds him/her and wraps him/her up (this can get a bit comical). If you like you can imagine even that the instant the flowers hit them, a warm glow of light emanates....., whatever.

The idea is your positive thoughts will somehow or another influence them so that they perform better. This subtle power of your thoughts can work not just in races but also other situations like....when someone is sick. I practice it and it works all the time, the only disclaimer is that you can't try it on your Fluff Pet. THAT's when it doesn't work.

Day 7

It was all set this morning that this post was to be a grievance outpouring session. I had so much to grumble, grouse and complain......Last night, I was looking like an effigy of a ghost due to a futile research attempt for my biz project, my being implicated in some mess, and other many things that were not looking good. But the sky did not come crashing down, at least not in the afternoon.

This afternoon I earned 8 bucks again through behav class, it was the highest amt again. Wong proclaimed that i was a lucky girl and proposed i buy 4D. This made me think that perhaps some forces above were taking care of me afterall. Even if i do feel alone, despaired sometimes, there are small positive things in life that if i paid enough attention, i'd notice.

It's just like in the movie Spiderwick's Chronicles i caught on Sat. The magical realm is all about us if only we look closely enough. Fairies in the flowers....etc. There are good things abound in this world worth noticing and unfortunately most ppl miss out on them and it's a great loss.

So I decided to count my blessings today, like how I managed to squeeze up the crowded 151, caught my fav song on radio, received a biscuit fr Pearl, ate chocolates when I came home, enjoyed the fine weather, had friends asking abt my weekend, and even chatted with Cremers.

Day 6

i've made it to another term at ycm.

Although i still have the lingering sense of misfit in this "bastion of exclusivity" that i described 1 yr back (Apr 07), i decided to go ahead and sign on for a new term. Between doing something good for the society and "putting up" with being 'cold cornered', i choose the former.

Sitting on the panel is like back-office work, it does not give as much satisfaction as working with people at the grassroot level, but it's still a form of community involvement. It's a given that you've to grade projects online, meet the applicants, go for panel meetings, attend special events and what not, but through it i've a chance to give back to society and a chance to meet young people who have more drive than me in propelling changes in our community (and look up to them till my neck is strained)....it's a good thing isn't it?

Moreover, after 1 year i've taken a new view on being 'cold cornered'. Some people esp. extroverts gain energy from interacting with people, they are the ones you see constantly 'networking' at social functions. I used to look at this people and wonder how they are so intelligent and can have an infinitely so many ideas on what to talk about, but not so much now. Because i realised that there's another group of ppl, the introverts, who replenish their strength by just keeping quiet. I realised that I liked heading straight to a corner during panel meetings because that's where i'm in my element. I also realised that the ppl at ycm hv also got used to leaving me alone.... i guess you can call it a form of respect for diversity? lol

But at the crux of it all, i'm really fascinated by the idea of youth empowerment.^^ Afterall everyone has only one chance of being young, we're endowed with 'energy' and 'ideals' while young and it's always worthwhile to pursue them while you can.

Went for the training session on Sat where i helped facilitate 1 segment of it. The new batch of panelists seems more friendly....i'm sure next term wld be better. After 1 term of warming up, it's time to sprint now!

Day 5

Recess break is over *chew nails* and most of my deadlines are postponed to nx wk or the week after. I'm not particularly sure if this is a good or bad thing for me. As a sophisticate with time-inconsistent preference i.e. procastinator, deadlines are actually good commitment technology for me. Recently i've been putting off taking a proactive stance to secure a job before graduation and i feel it does not reflect very well on me at all, neither does it signal a dashing future for me. But as usual a whole host of factors (real or imagined) stand in my path. For one, my 'environment' dictates that I can't plan my future beyond one week. (This is probably disappointing for some but all i can say is my hands are tied)

In quite a behavioural econs mood today and it can be attributed to 3 reasons. I worked my referee report till 2am yest, lunched with the lecturer this aftn, and had a sudden winfall of $30 in class today:)

Does this call for a celebration? I think it'll have to wait till i can fully get 'in the zone' again for at least 5 hrs a day. Decline in marginal productivity has set in exceptionally early for me and this is bad bad bad....

~Who is willing to spar with me?~